1 00:01:26,452 --> 00:01:30,783 Live from Springfield, the wrestling match of the century! 2 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:35,580 -Rasputin, the Friendly Russian. -Wasn't he the Mad Russian? 3 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:40,088 History has changed wrestling, perhaps forever. 4 00:01:40,304 --> 00:01:45,596 The challenger from Heidelberg, Professor Burnabon Brawn. With a "W. " 5 00:01:45,811 --> 00:01:51,353 Two titans in their prime. This is going to be one hell of a match! 6 00:01:51,569 --> 00:01:54,440 I hope you're not taking this seriously. 7 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:58,276 5-year-olds know this is as choreographed as ballet. 8 00:01:58,703 --> 00:02:03,497 Rasputin's got the reach, but the Professor's got his coma lock. 9 00:02:03,710 --> 00:02:06,380 This is gonna be one hell of a match. 10 00:02:07,006 --> 00:02:11,835 Look at that showoff, kissing his own muscles. 11 00:02:13,097 --> 00:02:16,966 He's spinning the Professor! That's disorienting! 12 00:02:17,270 --> 00:02:20,141 Hey, Milhouse, crank it up. 13 00:02:22,193 --> 00:02:25,645 -That's my seat. -Correction, was your seat. 14 00:02:25,864 --> 00:02:28,439 But I only got up to go to the can. 15 00:02:28,660 --> 00:02:31,864 I don't see your name on this barstool. 16 00:02:32,081 --> 00:02:33,991 One! Two! Three! 17 00:02:34,209 --> 00:02:36,083 Four! Five! Six! 18 00:02:36,295 --> 00:02:38,537 Seven! Eight! Nine! 19 00:02:38,756 --> 00:02:42,209 The ref is issuing a warning to Rasputin. 20 00:02:44,472 --> 00:02:49,183 Oh, my. Oh, my. Why is this referee permitting this? 21 00:02:58,241 --> 00:03:01,741 This Saturday, your life will be changed forever. 22 00:03:02,079 --> 00:03:05,496 Saturday, at the Springfield Speedway. 23 00:03:05,709 --> 00:03:10,088 "Crusher" Woodard, "The Skunk" Trumane and the Dunk Masters... 24 00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:12,796 ...in the Monster Truck Rally! 25 00:03:13,302 --> 00:03:17,384 Plus the amazing, unbelievable, Truck-a-saurus! 26 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:23,058 Twenty tons and four stories of car-crunching, fire-breathing insanity! 27 00:03:24,609 --> 00:03:27,943 One night only, at the Springfield Speedway! 28 00:03:28,197 --> 00:03:33,739 If you miss it, you better be dead or in jail. If you're in jail, break out! 29 00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:35,574 Be there! 30 00:03:45,053 --> 00:03:47,889 Truck-a-saurus! 31 00:03:51,728 --> 00:03:55,430 I have an announcement. As a family growth thing... 32 00:03:55,692 --> 00:03:59,607 ...we should go to the Monster Truck Rally this Saturday. 33 00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:02,314 Aren't you forgetting something? 34 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:06,195 Monster Truck Rally, growth thing, I don't think so. 35 00:04:06,414 --> 00:04:08,408 Lisa's recital is Saturday. 36 00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:14,754 I have my first solo. If you miss it, start looking for a child therapist. 37 00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:21,850 -But Truck-a-saurus is one night only! -Cruel fate, why do you mock me? 38 00:04:22,102 --> 00:04:25,887 Come on. What time does your truck game start? 39 00:04:26,357 --> 00:04:31,104 -8:00, but what does it matter? -Lisa's recital starts at 5:00. 40 00:04:31,322 --> 00:04:35,820 -We can go to both. -Marge, you're a genius! 41 00:04:36,037 --> 00:04:39,703 Let's have good assembly manners. People! People! 42 00:04:41,502 --> 00:04:45,667 Quiet, please! Don't make me flick the lights on and off. 43 00:04:45,883 --> 00:04:47,129 Thank you. 44 00:04:47,343 --> 00:04:52,636 Ladies, gentlemen, parents. Welcome to the first in a series of concerts. 45 00:04:53,268 --> 00:04:54,727 Series! 46 00:04:54,937 --> 00:04:59,399 Tonight, Sherbert's-- Schubert's Unfinished Symphony. 47 00:04:59,610 --> 00:05:02,731 Good, unfinished. This shouldn't take long. 48 00:05:02,948 --> 00:05:07,825 Remember, children, stay together. Five, six, seven, eight! 49 00:05:30,818 --> 00:05:36,110 -That was beautiful. Can we go now? -Sit down, Homer. 50 00:05:38,703 --> 00:05:43,117 How much longer was Sherbert planning on making this? 51 00:05:43,793 --> 00:05:47,579 Lisa was great. Her fingering's come a long way. 52 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:52,504 -Thanks, Flanders. Big know-it-all. -When's Todd's solo, Dad? 53 00:05:52,764 --> 00:05:55,718 It's coming up, son. It's coming up. 54 00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:13,540 -My son, my son. -Come on, Flanders. He's not that bad. 55 00:06:49,297 --> 00:06:52,049 -I reached him. -Drive defensively. 56 00:06:52,301 --> 00:06:58,590 -The best defense is a good offense. -Faster, Dad. Truck-a-saurus awaits! 57 00:07:00,437 --> 00:07:01,979 Damn, no spots! 58 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,859 I think there's one over there. 59 00:07:12,995 --> 00:07:16,163 -Dad? -Not now, Lisa. Come on. 60 00:07:16,416 --> 00:07:18,208 -Homer. -What? 61 00:07:18,627 --> 00:07:21,748 -Truck-a-saurus! -Where? Where? 62 00:07:40,907 --> 00:07:44,277 Pull! Pull, you dogs! 63 00:07:44,495 --> 00:07:47,912 Let's see, cracked windshield, melted bumpers... 64 00:07:48,125 --> 00:07:51,993 ...punctured radiator, teeth marks in the trunk. 65 00:07:52,255 --> 00:07:54,581 At least there's no frame damage. 66 00:07:55,301 --> 00:07:58,469 -This check should handle it. -Thank you. 67 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:03,260 I'm Leo G. Clark, inventor and operator of Truck-a-saurus. 68 00:08:03,478 --> 00:08:07,976 Truck-a-saurus feels very badly about what happened. 69 00:08:08,235 --> 00:08:13,907 We'd like you to have a half-bottle of champagne for being such good sports. 70 00:08:14,117 --> 00:08:19,540 Thank you. Everyone's so nice here, at the Monster Truck Rally. 71 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:22,456 Look, Homer, champagne! 72 00:08:25,132 --> 00:08:28,751 Now, Majestic Undercoating is proud to present: 73 00:08:29,012 --> 00:08:31,421 Ms. Monster! 74 00:08:31,682 --> 00:08:34,139 Wow, a woman mud pool driver. 75 00:08:34,436 --> 00:08:39,146 Another barrier broken. Right on, sister! 76 00:08:39,359 --> 00:08:44,153 Let the destruction begin! Hey, they forgot my corn dogs. 77 00:08:44,366 --> 00:08:48,531 -Give me some nachos, Homer-saurus. -Here, Bart-a-saurus. 78 00:08:50,457 --> 00:08:55,417 Now, we have a surprise guest. The world's greatest daredevil. 79 00:08:55,714 --> 00:08:57,957 He's no stranger to danger. 80 00:08:58,218 --> 00:09:03,558 If he's not in action, he's in traction. Captain Lance Murdock! 81 00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:09,805 Ladies and gentlemen, and especially little children. 82 00:09:10,025 --> 00:09:14,819 I'm glad you're here to witness what may be my grisly death. 83 00:09:15,073 --> 00:09:17,779 Tonight, my most dangerous stunt. 84 00:09:18,036 --> 00:09:23,032 I will death defy nature and gravity by leaping over this water tank... 85 00:09:23,251 --> 00:09:26,087 ...filled with great white sharks... 86 00:09:26,296 --> 00:09:30,924 ...deadly electric eels, ravenous piranhas, alligators... 87 00:09:31,178 --> 00:09:34,844 ...and most frightening, the king of the jungle... 88 00:09:35,100 --> 00:09:38,137 ...one ferocious lion! 89 00:09:42,026 --> 00:09:46,239 I almost forgot. To add a real element of danger... 90 00:09:46,490 --> 00:09:50,489 ...one drop of human blood. 91 00:09:52,373 --> 00:09:55,707 On the chance I don't live, let me say... 92 00:09:55,961 --> 00:10:00,007 ...seat belts save lives, so buckle up! 93 00:10:03,554 --> 00:10:06,971 This is so cool. 94 00:10:11,648 --> 00:10:14,140 Oh, I can't watch! 95 00:10:20,410 --> 00:10:22,118 He made it! 96 00:10:32,217 --> 00:10:33,878 Bitchen! 97 00:10:36,389 --> 00:10:38,881 He's okay, folks! 98 00:10:49,156 --> 00:10:52,443 What a fun-filled evening. 99 00:10:53,328 --> 00:10:57,577 Ladies and gentlemen, a 10-year-old who's brave and bold! 100 00:10:57,834 --> 00:11:00,505 When he's not in class, he risks his ass! 101 00:11:00,755 --> 00:11:03,923 The greatest daredevil, Bart Simpson! 102 00:11:04,134 --> 00:11:05,677 Bart! Bart! 103 00:11:10,476 --> 00:11:14,771 Bart? Bart? We're home, son. 104 00:11:16,693 --> 00:11:22,116 -Dad, I wanna be a daredevil. -Kids say such stupid things. 105 00:11:26,205 --> 00:11:28,958 -You're crazy. -You'll never make it. 106 00:11:29,209 --> 00:11:32,081 Spare me your lectures, ladies. 107 00:11:39,139 --> 00:11:40,848 -Oh, no! He's hurt! -Bad! 108 00:11:41,058 --> 00:11:43,764 Let's get out of here! 109 00:11:52,699 --> 00:11:57,327 -My little boy! -Come on, Marge, we're mad at him. 110 00:11:57,580 --> 00:12:02,327 -Are you all right? -Better than all right. I got stitches! 111 00:12:02,629 --> 00:12:04,040 Probably a scar too. 112 00:12:04,297 --> 00:12:09,341 Bart says he got hurt training for a career in death defiance? 113 00:12:09,596 --> 00:12:12,598 Yes, we saw a daredevil last night... 114 00:12:12,851 --> 00:12:15,521 ...and monkey see, monkey do. 115 00:12:15,771 --> 00:12:19,687 I know something that may discourage this behavior. 116 00:12:19,943 --> 00:12:23,444 These children have been hurt doing stunts... 117 00:12:23,698 --> 00:12:28,196 ...they saw on television, movies and the legitimate stage. 118 00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:35,086 This little boy broke his leg trying to fly like Superman. 119 00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:40,585 His brother hit him with a wrench, mimicking a TV wrestling match. 120 00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:44,799 I won't show the horrors of our Three Stooges ward. 121 00:12:45,018 --> 00:12:48,305 I didn't know TV was a dangerous influence. 122 00:12:48,690 --> 00:12:54,481 It's tragic, but it's a small price to pay for top-notch entertainment. 123 00:12:54,739 --> 00:12:57,658 Amen! Has Dr. Hibbert made his point? 124 00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:03,251 He certainly has. I learned a real lesson. Thanks, Dr. Hibbert. 125 00:13:13,723 --> 00:13:16,131 -I did it. -Wow! All right! 126 00:13:19,939 --> 00:13:21,814 Way happening! 127 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:24,903 -Awesome! -You're the king! 128 00:13:25,113 --> 00:13:29,112 Thank you! How about a hand for these brave animals? 129 00:13:33,666 --> 00:13:36,419 Hi, kids. Thanks. 130 00:13:37,129 --> 00:13:40,214 Okay, field-trippers. Off the bus. 131 00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:44,169 -What's the matter? -I'm running on empty, Milhouse. 132 00:13:44,430 --> 00:13:47,931 You kids like my jumps, and I love you for it... 133 00:13:48,185 --> 00:13:50,060 ...but it's too easy. 134 00:13:50,271 --> 00:13:53,357 There must be a challenge worthy of me. 135 00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:56,688 Hi, children. Welcome to Springfield Gorge. 136 00:13:56,947 --> 00:13:58,489 Wow! 137 00:13:58,783 --> 00:14:04,371 Gnarly! I bet you could toss a body in there and no one would ever find it. 138 00:14:04,624 --> 00:14:08,872 Otto, I'm gonna jump Springfield Gorge on my skateboard. 139 00:14:09,171 --> 00:14:13,122 As the only adult here, I feel I should say something. 140 00:14:13,385 --> 00:14:16,672 -What? -Cool! 141 00:14:26,945 --> 00:14:30,030 Hey, Otto! Can I use that microphone? 142 00:14:31,534 --> 00:14:35,783 Sorry, Bart-dude. It's for emergencies only. 143 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,375 -I wanna tell them about my jump. -Okay. 144 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,545 Attention, please. 145 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:45,334 This Saturday I'll be jumping Springfield Gorge. 146 00:14:45,553 --> 00:14:50,513 There's a good chance I'll fall to my death. Hope to see you there! 147 00:14:51,144 --> 00:14:54,644 Springfield Gorge! You'll be killed! 148 00:14:54,857 --> 00:14:59,686 I can't explain it, but I get the same thrill from jumping stuff... 149 00:14:59,947 --> 00:15:02,569 ...that you do from reading. 150 00:15:02,784 --> 00:15:06,830 Before you do anything, there's someone you should talk to. 151 00:15:07,248 --> 00:15:09,288 Thanks for arranging this. 152 00:15:09,543 --> 00:15:13,494 Anything that decreases entertainment-related injuries. 153 00:15:13,715 --> 00:15:17,928 You're meeting the world's best daredevil, Lance Murdock. 154 00:15:18,179 --> 00:15:23,057 This is Lisa and Bart Simpson. Bart's one of your biggest fans. 155 00:15:23,311 --> 00:15:26,978 It's an honor, Lance. How you feeling? 156 00:15:28,819 --> 00:15:31,393 Doc, I heard a snap. 157 00:15:31,656 --> 00:15:34,693 I'm afraid it's broken. That's all of them. 158 00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:37,824 I've broken that dozens of times. 159 00:15:38,081 --> 00:15:41,202 I bet you'd like an autograph. Nurse? 160 00:15:41,460 --> 00:15:44,213 -Who should I make it to? -Just Bart. 161 00:15:44,464 --> 00:15:49,294 To Bart: Thanks for visiting me... 162 00:15:49,554 --> 00:15:53,470 ...at Springfield General Hospital. 163 00:15:53,727 --> 00:15:58,889 Your visit was a ray of sunshine... 164 00:15:59,109 --> 00:16:02,645 ...on an otherwise cloudy day. 165 00:16:02,905 --> 00:16:07,035 Your pal, Captain Lance Murdock. 166 00:16:07,286 --> 00:16:12,495 -Wow, man! Thanks, Lance. -You're welcome. Take this thing. 167 00:16:12,752 --> 00:16:17,462 My brother's gonna jump Springfield Gorge on a skateboard. 168 00:16:17,675 --> 00:16:20,593 Could you leave me with the kids, please? 169 00:16:21,263 --> 00:16:24,598 Let me start by saying, good for you, son. 170 00:16:24,809 --> 00:16:27,480 Good to see kids interested in danger. 171 00:16:27,688 --> 00:16:31,224 People will say you're nuts. Maybe they're right. 172 00:16:31,485 --> 00:16:35,104 But the fact is: bones heal, chicks dig scars... 173 00:16:35,365 --> 00:16:40,788 ...and the U.S.A. has the best doctor to daredevil ratio in the world. 174 00:16:40,997 --> 00:16:42,955 -But Captain Murdock-- -Thanks! 175 00:16:43,167 --> 00:16:47,000 You're welcome. Tell the nurse it's my bath time. 176 00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:49,670 Another fringe benefit. Nurse! 177 00:16:49,884 --> 00:16:53,966 Springfield Gorge! We settled this daredevil junk! 178 00:16:54,223 --> 00:16:57,558 -Squealer. -Sorry, but if you got hurt or died... 179 00:16:57,811 --> 00:17:01,016 ...despite the attention I'd get, I'd miss you. 180 00:17:01,233 --> 00:17:03,938 -I forbid you to jump. -You can't. 181 00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:07,737 I can and do! Go to your room! There, I did it. 182 00:17:07,950 --> 00:17:12,115 I'm glad somebody stepped in and put an end to this nonsense. 183 00:17:12,372 --> 00:17:16,952 You can tell me not to do it, but you can't watch me 24 hours a day. 184 00:17:17,212 --> 00:17:22,457 And the minute your back is turned, I'm heading for that gorge. 185 00:17:22,678 --> 00:17:28,136 He's got us. There's nothing we can do. He's as good as dead. 186 00:17:28,352 --> 00:17:31,473 Homer, you're his father. Reason with him. 187 00:17:31,690 --> 00:17:34,146 That never works. He's a goner. 188 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:38,229 Come on, Homer, a heart-to-heart talk with your son. 189 00:17:38,490 --> 00:17:43,617 -You've got to try. -Okay, okay. I'll try. 190 00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:48,200 -Bart? What are you doing?! -Nothing. 191 00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:51,541 -You were gonna jump the gorge. -Maybe. 192 00:17:51,758 --> 00:17:55,757 Look, I know I can't stop you. I can only ask you... 193 00:17:56,014 --> 00:18:00,891 -...to promise me you won't do it. -Okay, I promise. 194 00:18:01,104 --> 00:18:03,311 -What? -You didn't mean that! 195 00:18:03,524 --> 00:18:07,736 This isn't a promise I don't expect you to keep. 196 00:18:07,988 --> 00:18:11,358 -lf you promise, you have to keep it. -Why? 197 00:18:11,576 --> 00:18:15,657 If you don't, I'll never believe you ever again. 198 00:18:15,915 --> 00:18:18,241 -Come on. -I mean it, boy! 199 00:18:18,752 --> 00:18:23,748 Okay, Dad. I promise. I won't jump Springfield Gorge. 200 00:18:23,967 --> 00:18:26,007 That's my boy. 201 00:18:26,554 --> 00:18:30,339 -How did it go? -We got a pretty good kid there. 202 00:18:30,601 --> 00:18:34,102 Well, he's got a pretty good father. 203 00:18:39,196 --> 00:18:43,693 -Where is he? He said noon. -He's just building suspense. 204 00:18:43,910 --> 00:18:48,704 -What a showman. -Look, there he is! 205 00:18:56,302 --> 00:19:01,428 Hey, boy. Wanna toss the old--?! Why, that little liar! 206 00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:04,929 I should have-- And I was gonna play pickle. 207 00:19:37,398 --> 00:19:38,809 Hey, what gives? 208 00:19:39,067 --> 00:19:44,655 I tried ordering you, punishing you, and I even tried reasoning with you. 209 00:19:44,866 --> 00:19:49,114 -Now, I have to jump the gorge myself. -What? Why? 210 00:19:49,330 --> 00:19:53,745 You'll see what it's like to watch a family member risk his life... 211 00:19:53,962 --> 00:19:55,836 ...for no good reason! 212 00:19:56,048 --> 00:20:00,510 -Dad, you'll never make it. -Don't you think I know that? 213 00:20:03,140 --> 00:20:06,261 -Goodbye, son. -Wait! Don't do it! 214 00:20:06,812 --> 00:20:12,235 -I won't jump anymore. I promise! -Thank God! Thank God! 215 00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:15,115 -I love you, Dad. -I love you too, son. 216 00:20:15,365 --> 00:20:20,574 I don't think I've ever felt as close to you as I do right-- 217 00:20:29,050 --> 00:20:30,842 I'm gonna make it! 218 00:20:31,094 --> 00:20:35,508 This is the greatest thrill of my life! I'm king of the world! 219 00:21:17,155 --> 00:21:19,729 Think you got guts? Try raising my kids!